tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
