I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
