I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
