i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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