i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
