i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
