He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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