and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
