This is not my ceiling
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
