D3 body, D1 cock
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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