you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize