so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
