I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize