Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
