I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Buhtt sex?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
false alarm, still single
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
