she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Randomize
