just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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