If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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