ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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