We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
