so explain again why im purple
no
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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