i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My ass is underappreciated
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
