I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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