Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
