I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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