A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
