Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
