Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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