Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize