More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
