Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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