Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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