I think im going to throw up on grandma
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
