I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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