That's intense
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
