The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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