kristin has been a bad kristin
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
