i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
