im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
