A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
