He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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