Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
