I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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