dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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