so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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