I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
