If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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