It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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