Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
