I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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