He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
