Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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