he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
