you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
