she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
