Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
