i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So vagazzling was a success
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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